A Sixty-Word SZEN Story:
Sally was one of those rare people that could just set you free. She never seemed to judge and always gave one the impression that she approved of all people and their rights to choose their own path. Sally was accepting and supportive and that could make you feel confident. Acceptance gave her the power to give power to others.
Judgment is a negative act, no matter how we cut it and yet it is a part of life. Every choice requires we judge the situation and make the appropriate decision. Judging is required to live. Sometimes though we slip outside of our own domain and send off a scowl, or tsk in someone’s direction noting our disapproval. We judge based on what we like or approve of but sometimes we don’t need to share what we think. There are enough choices and judging going on in our own lives and spreading our opinions without an invitation is just not necessary.
So in the spirit of Sally and her power of acceptance here are a few ideas on how we might curb our judgment or at the very least keep it to ourselves thus lightening up our own load and the loads of others:
1. Assume that the other person is right. – This takes practice but is worth it. Staying positive opens doors and after a couple of examples of agreeing with someone that’s not agreeable you’ll see how powerful it is. You’ll both be happier.
2. Our way isn’t the only way – Force fitting our thoughts and conditioned way of living on another person negates an opportunity to learn something new. Often we jump into a task with others believing we ‘re the only ones that “get it.” Not true.
3. Learn to swallow. Right or not, sharing our opinions on what we’d do doesn’t really matter and the whole situation and the people in it could be better served if we hold back on what we really think.
I realize now that I’ve just presented an opinion that you didn’t ask for so feel free to judge me and we’ll be even.
Szenippet: In the presence of non-judgment we all succeed.