Case Closed

I really love the concept of closure. It’s great when something is completed and you can move on to the next whatever. Closure though can be elusive – the job interview that goes on and on, the game that never ends, the romance without a decision, the unfinished symphony, dangling participle and the like.

I think most people like to have a beginning, middle and ending to most things in their life. Beginnings are easy, the middle is life as we know it, and the ending, well the ending, is not always clear and often not attainable. The feeling of not being able to close on a situation I think is maddening. Will I get the loan? Will she marry me? Will I get the job? Will my children ever learn? When you have the answers to these questions you are free to move a space in the game of life. Without the answers you’re stuck and the waiting is often painful.

The first time I became aware of the power of closure was when I asked a nice young lady to the prom. She said she’d get back to me. P-l-e-a-s-e give me a yes or no so I can move on with my life. The waiting was agony and by the time she finally gave me her answer, I hated her. Waiting for a phone call can just sap the life energy out of you. That’s partly why today, I really really try to call people back and give answers to pending questions, problems and proposals as quickly as possible.

Those that don’t mind having open ended lives make great sales people. They, of course, want the close but know that patience and perseverance is their ally or in some cases they recognize that it’s better not to know than to hear a no. That middle ground, the nether world of indecision and all possibilities, can euphemistically also be called the present moment. Being in the moment is a goal for many metaphysical thinkers and those wishing to simply enjoy life as it unfolds. I understand that reasoning but I also believe that if nothing is ever closed and decided, one could succumb to the weight of all of the work in progress and never really be grounded enough to appreciate any moment. A better scenario is to be in the now without on-hold or pending decisions; A blessed state of mind.

So how does one get all of the loose ends tied, everything buttoned down and the fat lady to sing? The answer is amazingly simple: You force a conclusion. If you think about anything that is hanging over your head right now, you know that if you were willing to accept a less than perfect outcome, you could take whatever it is off of your plate this very moment. Most of us though tend to hang on for the best possible solution. We wait and hope and somehow believe that God will deliver the best possible exact conclusion we see in our mind’s eye. This does happen of course but many times by waiting to make a move we miss the boat altogether.

If you have ever had a romantic partner up and leave because they got tired of waiting for you to commit, you know what I mean. If you ever had three job offers simultaneously and failed to decide and lost all three, you know what I mean. If you ever held out for the best seats in the concert and then got shut out, you know what I mean. And if you ever debated and negotiated for the house of your dreams, hoping for the perfect deal, and then lost – you know what I mean. And the most insidious form of closure is called inadvertent closure which occurs when you’ve waited so long you have no choice, and some random element or person can directly affect you and the decision at hand without your knowledge. Know what I mean?

A fait accompli or a done deal is something to be pursued but not at the risk of making the wrong decision. Closure is a concept that essentially creates markers and milestones for your life. It allows one to stop something and begin another. It often creates a huge sense of satisfaction and the familiar feeling of completion and success. Closure provides order and sanity in a world of constantly increasing options. Closure is the friend of all those that are driven or those willing and able to settle. Closure, or lack of it, is an every day and every life decision. And those decisions are always open to those ready and able to move to the next space. Choose wisely.

From the Book of Szen