Good Golly Miss Molly

My definition of disappointment is when expectations do not match reality. I think that most, if not all, of us have suffered disappointment. For those who have never been disappointed I applaud your perspective and ability to take what life serves you and make it something that you can use. It’s a real art to be able to take adversity, disappointment and frustration and remain grounded enough to be able and ready to move forward anyway.

I guess the easy answer on how to minimize disappointment is to lower one’s expectations. But where’s the fun in that? Exactly. It’s not fun but it’s also not painful. Hence the way people live tend to break down into two essential types: Those that have real fun and excitement in their life and which coincidently get hurt or encounter obstacles and pain and those that rarely get hurt but miss the real “highs” in life.

I decided early on what type of person I wanted to be and have tried to keep the bar really high. And of course there’s been pain attached to that but on the other hand, even when I was faced with a loss, somehow a gain was waiting just around the corner.

In college we had a film course and we had to learn about acting and composition and staging and timing. In one class we put on a one act play and the play was going to be filmed. The lead role was a man that came home from work to find his wife having an affair and he went ballistic and so his role had the best lines and opportunity to be on camera. I really really thought that I was the best in the class and deserved to have the lead. I figured that it was a slam dunk. But nooooooo. Not this time. The lead went to this exchange student from Bolivia that naturally had a hot temper and so I rationalized that this was a simple case of typecasting.

Rather than retreat into regret, I figured that there would be something else for me where I could demonstrate my keen acting ability. I was selected to be the cable TV repairman and the love interest of the Bolivian’s wife. I know. Some of you that know me may say that this was a bit of typecasting as well and I could see your point but it’s not really relevant to the story.
The point is that I elected to take what was delivered and make the most of it rather than dwell on what I did not get. That said the student production paired me up with a coed named Molly. I didn’t know her very well and although she was cute and all, she seemed very reserved and quiet. We reported to the set and in addition to the film cameras we also had video set up to playback our rehearsals and give us some insights into our acting capabilities, lighting and set direction etc.

I watched the lead and Molly going through their scene that basically sets up the reasons why she would ultimately be unfaithful. Actually it was pretty convincing and so in my mind I let go of having the lead and in that letting go I became ready to take on my role and use the opportunity at hand.

Our scene was simple and ended in an embrace and kiss on the couch. I was ready and a bit nervous and when the director called “action” I momentarily froze until Molly took my hand. I know that some of you may want more details but suffice it to say, the role selected for me required very little acting and thanks to Miss Molly, the entire experience was not only enjoyable but actually profound – turns out that she wasn’t so reserved after all and all of that energy being captured on video made the whole experience a bit surreal.

Once the scene was completed I enjoyed a sense of euphoria and recognized how fortunate I was to not have the lead role and relished my sense of acceptance and how not getting what I wanted actually delivered something totally different and way better. As an aside, Molly and I became friends.

So to those that find disappointment in their lives, I suggest taking charge or at the very least letting go of the disappointment and moving toward a solution. If things are happening that are not what you want, be aware that something better may be just around the corner and someone like a Molly may take your hand and show you just how much you can attract by simply letting go.

Gary

From the Book of Szen