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Hot Topic
Have you ever had an ache or a pain that just slowed you down a bit and you wish it would just go away? I have and do have aches and pains mostly related to my physical exertion schedule. Between exercise and basketball and other stuff I tend to get a little stiff or tight in the muscles, especially the legs and knees which have gone through three surgeries. If I’m really careful and stretch and take care not to pound my body too hard I can usually diminish the amount of pain to an acceptable throb.

My doctors have told me that I will always have some pain because I push myself a little bit too much. Anyway that’s fine but I’ve been looking for a way to minimize it when I need to be at my best. Such was the case a couple of weeks ago when our team was in the final four for our league basketball championship. A friend had suggested a topical analgesic cream designed to loosen the muscles and relieve the pain. I thought I would try it and the results were amazing.

About an hour before the first game (we would have to win two games that night to be champs) I applied some of this wonder cream to some key body parts that seemed to suffer the most. I just didn’t apply a little but rather rationalized that the more the better and slapped generous amounts on, rubbing it in, all the while imagining some type of euphoric painless outcome.

As I left to go to the gym I started to feel a tingling sensation and a slight burning. The burning and heat intensified and the next thing I know I’m on fire. I don’t mean a little uncomfortable heat and discomfort. I mean a raging inferno that was engulfing me and made me feel like spontaneous combustion was moments away.

I didn’t know what to do but I knew I had to make the game on time and so I suffered alone pondering my reasoning aptitude and ultimate pain quotient. By the time I got to the gym, I was clawing at my clothes trying to create an air space that would allow the cool evening breeze to enter. I almost felt like a tuck and roll was in order but considered the insanity of the situation and began to laugh – a cold, sadistic menacing laugh.

Once the game began I could not sit and constantly squirmed to keep the heat, now on the level of hot coals, from engulfing me completely. I paced and jumped and twitched in front of our bench, which the team mistook for high intensity and focus. Once in the game I was fine and strangely had no muscle pain at all that I could discern. I calculated that this wonder cream worked because it replaced one type of pain with another. What started as trying to ease my pain from a simple ache and muscle tightness was now evolving into a dreadful and relentless stinging, painful torture. I felt like I was on the end of Ben Franklin’s kite.
We won the championship. As I shook hands and “high-fived” my teammates and the losing team, all I could think of was ice. Ice, ice, ice and more ice on every infected part of my body, some parts too private to do in public. I headed for the showers and for the first time actually read the instructions on this wonder cream. It seems that friction and exercise activate a chemical that is designed to simulate heat as if from a heating pad or even from a sauna. In fact any heat makes it more intense, so the running and jumping that one might normally endure in a basketball game became the catalyst for a chemical reaction that frankly burned my butt and then some.
I think I can safely say that I’ve learned to read the instructions before applying anything to my body. The results of my experiment with pain control demonstrate that sometimes the cure is worse that the malady and that too much of anything, even if perceived at the time to be good, isn’t always a positive and it’s not always the cool thing to do.
Gary

From the Book of Szen
First released in November 2006